even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He better not be in your backpack
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
