her vagina looked like bernie madoff
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
We are two peas in an std pod
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
