Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
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