All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Randomize
