is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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