My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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