You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
