This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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