Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Randomize
