yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
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