I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
