you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
