That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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