Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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