Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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