Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Randomize
