that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
zippers are such a cool invention
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
