I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize