Why are handjobs necessary in class?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
