Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
