FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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