a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
