yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize