Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Randomize
