It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
