Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize