we're blogging at a bar
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
