Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
