I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize