Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
