My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
