That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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