I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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