I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
