What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
