He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
