It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
