How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
