he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize