There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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