I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
