Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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