That's when you crack a 10am beer
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
where are you?
Hypothermia
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
