i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Success! We fucked roommates!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
