I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize