Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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