If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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