i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i dont even know how to be here
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize