whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
