Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
