This girl is more easily done than said...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Pooping to opera.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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