I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
