we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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