omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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