Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
