so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Is it penis luge time yet?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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