i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize