sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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