if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
