I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I came so hard my ears popped.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize