Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
