U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
