I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
