spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The air was thick with penises
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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