I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize