We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
