Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
