I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
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