Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
