and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
