But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
