hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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