I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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