im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
