Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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