So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
