yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
